Thursday, 17 April 2008

20 ~ The one where it was all over

Cancer is so limited.... It cannot cripple life, it cannot shatter hope, it cannot corrode faith

Firstly, I swear I don't wear the same bandana all the time. It just happens to be the one I wear everytime I write in my blog! Lol.

So, stick a fork in me, I'm done!!!!!

My final treatment was last Friday (11th) and I can't believe it's all over. On the last treatment the machine obviously was going to miss me because it broke down half way through so I had to lay there for a while waiting for them to fix it and in the end they sent me to the other machine to finish! I then went to see the Nurse to just get checked over and everything and then I was told to go back on Wednesday to see my oncologist and to see if I needed anything. etc.

So, I went back yesterday. I saw Dr Tahir and Tanya (one of the Nurses) and he asked me how I was. We spoke for a while about a few things and then he basically told me that he never wants to see me again unless it's out shopping or something! I will be going to see my consultant in 4-6 weeks at another Hospital...of course if I have any problems I can ring someone at the Hospital but for now, I don't have to go to a Hospital for at least a month. How weird!! I will have a CT scan in about 3 months time so then I will know if I'm in remission or not.

I got my mask yesterday, I forgot to ask for it on my last day so I emailed Lorna (one of the radiographers) and asked her to try and save it for me! They had it for me at reception and it's now in a bag on my floor. I don't know what to do with it really...I've heard a story where a bloke to his to the beach, put a firework inside it and blew it up!! Lol. I'd like to do that but then I'm not sure because I wouldn't be able to show anyone what it looked like (unless they looked at pictures)
My skin has got 100 times better in the past week, it's amazing how quickly it's changed. This time last week I could barely move my neck because it was so sore and now it's no longer red and it's only a tiny bit sore. It's a pinky colour in a few spots and then the rest of the skin is a brown colour. (Another crappy quality picture, sorry.)

My throat is definitely more sore now than what it has been. It's felt different from the start (mainly when I yawned or sneezed) but now it's painful everytime I swallow. It's not that bad though, still doesn't stop me from eating lol. (What does??) I've been coughing a lot too which has probably made my throat worse. It's making my chest hurt now because I'm doing it so much but it doesn't bother me that much. I've also been sick a few more times since I last wrote and I feel a bit more tired than normal but that might be because of the chemo too. Who knows!

My hair is still growing. It's taking its time though...I'm impatient and just wish that I could have my nice, long hair back but I think it'd take years to get it back to that length again! It's quite patchy still and it's really dark...and I think it's straight not curly! I hate sideburns though lol. It's the only part of hair that shows when I wear my bandana and it would just look better if they weren't there, haha. My eyebrows are really bushy now lol and I think that I can finally pluck them and they wont look weird. So, I'm going to that (when I can be bothered).

My voice comes out sometimes...I don't know when I'll start speech therapy. I'm guessing not for a while as the radiotherapy is still doing it's stuff. I do sometimes wonder what it's going to sound like, I hope that it's not too different. I did ask my speech therapist if I'd sound like a normal persons voice and her answer was. "what's normal?" Which is totally true. I should be used to having a 'weird' voice anyway because for about 2 years my voice was really husky and people were constantly asking me whether I had a sore throat or not. Now though, I can tell them the reason why it sounds like that instead of pretending that I did have a sore throat lol. My voice comes out randomly sometimes but it's not a proper voice, it's really quiet and if I try to talk properly nothing comes out really.

I'm not really sure if there's anything else to write about...oh. I asked when my PEG will be removed and Dr Tahir said to wait until I see Mr Pace-Balzan in 4-6 weeks just in case I do have trouble eating soon. I am glad that it's there just in case because what's the betting it'd get removed and then I'd need another one put in? Sods law and all that lol. There's no way I'd have another put in anyway, no thank you. I'd rather starve!! Haha.

Okey dokey, that's all I have to say really. I don't know when I'll update again...I'll try not to leave it too long.


P.S To the lady who stopped me in Asda the other day to say she recognised me from my blog (that was a strange experience, I felt slightly famous!! lol) - my email address is if you'd like to email me. I should have given it to you when I saw you!


  1. Yay!
    Yo Adrian! YOU DID IT!!!!
    It is over, well bloody done girl! I wish you all the very best and send you all of my love along with Caroline and wish you a fast recovery and a bright and beautiful future, you are a star, an angel, an inspiration to us all!

    BIG love always


  2. Well done on getting through the treatment so well. It's great to see your hair growing too.

    Take it easy and good luck for the scan.

    Kaz xx

  3. I am soo happy for you...and praying it is in remission

  4. Hi Hayley, you have done it, wow I am so very happy for you... you have been so strong and positive through out this tough time and now its over, you truly are an amazing young lady.. All the very best for future, I am sure its all over for good.. and you are going to enjoy a long happy life.
    you are always in my prayers.
    Take care

  5. Hi there!

    Glad the treatments are over for you now! I am sure you will soon feel great for being able to stay away from hospitals! Wish I could but as my conditions are so very different there is no way I can ever do that!
    As for the PEG - I hope you won't need it but those of us who need them really need them and would not be able to have a seconds life without them so we are thankful for the fact the exist as I know you know! Anyway lets hope yours won't be needed and you can have it taken out asap.
    Take care and hope you will write more at some point soon as we all would I am sure love to know what is happening and how you are.
    Take care and stay in touch! Peggy Peg!

  6. That's great news, well done you!

    Take care
    Louise xo

  7. oh oh and ps, I was going to ask you. You know you have your facebook advertised, is it ok for people (well me) to add you? Or is it more friends and family you'd rather have on there . I thought i'd ask before adding incase :]


  8. Well done!
    I am very inspired by your bravery and determination.

    Best of luck for the future, Ani

    {i like to believe that i'm one of those *nice* complete strangers... worry not lol}

  9. Hayley!! Fantastic news that you are now well and truly 'cooked to perfection'.

    Don't leave your blog unattended now though, you have a following and now you're famous and all that, you have your public to think about! LOL

    You could decorate your mask as a piece of 'altered art' and hang it on your bedroom wall. Does that suggestion make me some kind of mad crafting woman? Who knows! Wish you were closer to me as I'm starting a craft club and would love you to bring your mask for us to play with and decorate up!

    Take care hun xxxx

  10. IT'S OVER! You did it girl :) I'll keep hoping and praying you're in remission, you've definitely done so well and you deserve happy news in a couple of months time :)
    I can't believe how much your hair is growing back! It looks really nice and dark and even, so I reckon it'll grow back all luscious and lovely! A rather nice side effect of losing your hair is lovely soft new hair to replace it!
    Anyway my dear just wanted to stay by and say HIP HIP HOORAY! I reckon you should make a scrapbook of your blog and all the comments etc once you're in remission too..And I'm loving the idea someone has posted of decorating your mask all funky and keeping it to display hehe...You should put a sign by it 'take that cancer!' :p
    Love you lots

  11. Hey Hayley! Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and signing up for my contest! I would be honored if you want to link to me :o). CONGRATS on being done with treatment! I'll be following along!!!

  12. Well you kicked cancers arse girl!! WEll done.
    What will happen to your blog, have you decided??

  13. Hi,I am Radica. What a strange way to meet somebody who is a stranger, but who can understand what you are going try.
    I have a breast cancer,...,and everything else,...
    Life is great, no matter how long it is!
    I wish you a good luck.
    Fell free to contact me if you like!

  14. hi - you added to one of my blogs the other day - but the one I don't check much, so I only ust saw it .. blah blah

    thanks for adding your comment in there -

    I will read more of your blog later - - but just to say - gohs .. I dunno how someone so yougn can be so wise .. I certainly don't think I could have done this with such a cool-streak when I was your age .. bravo to you and all my very best wishes for a good outcome after your treatment

    one day at a time


  15. and sorry about my typos - there is no excuse!

  16. Hey Sis,

    Lee and I just want you to know how much we look up to you. You've been extremely strong over the past few months and pulled out ahead. Hopefully we'll be able to see you this coming christmas!!! Stay strong!!!

    P.S.- I finally got around to posting a new blog entry.