Saturday, 5 January 2008

9 ~ The one where Hayley got her wig

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt


Who likes the bald patch I'm sporting at the front there? I know I don't lol. My fringe is like...gone. Every time I went to tuck it behind my hair it just came out in my hands lol. I have a big forehead, that's why I had a fringe! My hair is so thin now, I reckon this time next week I'll be completely bald. Boo. It's so weird having hardly any hair left, my head gets really cold lol. I know that it still looks like I have a lot of hair but compared to what I had, that's hardly anything! It's in a ponytail by the way...


I got my wig today, I didn't really enjoy the experience because even if people think it looks real, I know that it isn't and I don't think I'll ever be able to see past that. It's a nice wig though and my Mum said it looks okay so I'll trust her. I don't think I will wear it a lot, maybe when I go out with my friends - I have a few hats now (That actually fit my head!! *Faints*) and 3 bandana's, a buff and then a zandana. I also just ordered another buff so I'll have plenty of choice.

I don't really have much to update on because nothing has been going on really. I do have a CT scan booked for the 17th of January, it's to see if the tumour has shrunk. I HOPE SO. They're also thinking of introuducing a third cycle of chemotherapy before I start my radiotherapy. I think on the 17th I've also got an appointment with Dr. Tahir to discuss the radiotherapy and ask questions and everything. I am quite scared about the radiotherapy but I'm sure I'll be fine.

Start my 2nd cycle of chemotherapy on Monday - I am really hoping I'm not as ill as last time because I am meant to be going to the Spice Girls 2 days after I finish. I am determined to go, even if it means going in a wheelchair and taking naps throughout it, haha. Dr Tahir did say that I wont be as ill as I was last time because the dosage has been reduced so let's keep our fingers crossed. Although, I would go through what I did last time as long as it works. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, people have it much worse than me so I wont complain. I just need to remember to drink lots next time cos once I had some fluids in me I started feeling so much better.


My PICC Line has been hurting the past couple of days, just where the line goes in to my arm. I think it's just getting used to having a wire going in there lol. My scalp is also quite sore, it feels like a cross between having a sunburnt scalp and when you have your hair in a tight ponytail and you take it out and it really hurts your head. I need to stop moaning lol.

Believe it or not, I am still feeling incredibly positive about all of this. I AM going to get better, it's just gonna be a bit of a pain in the bum getting there!! I don't feel ill, at all. I don't get out of breath anymore and my voice has started to come back. I'm not putting pressure on myself with it though cos I can concentrate on that once I'm in remission but I get excited everytime a little bit of voice comes out lol.

I don't have anything else to say...apart from HAPPY NEW YEAR!! This has been a bit of a boring post, sorry. I don't know when I will next update, maybe in the week or after my next cycle of chemo has finished. I just wrote "...or after my next cycle of chemo has worked" - maybe it's a sign!! Lol.

Hayley

28 comments:

  1. Maica says shes not got much hair either, and its not so bad ;)
    we love you. and we're behind you all the way to recovery!
    xx

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  2. You're still my beautiful girl..hair or no hair!

    I know today was difficult for you, having to choose a wig - there were plenty to choose from and you chose well sweetie. I like it, (and as my hair is getting more and more grey, may I borrow it when you won't need it?lol).. I wouldn't say it was nice on you if it looked terrible!

    I am so proud of you sweetheart, everthing you endure at this time is making you stronger and inturn, making me stronger as I learn from you.

    I can't do this for you sweetheart, I wish I could - but knowing what I know about you, I have faith that you will get through this and then have a fun-filled, happy life - aim for it darling...your happiness is my happiness.

    Love you so much

    xxxxx

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  3. Aaww, your Mum's comment almost brought me to tears - She's fab, you are so blessed to have her and all your family and friends by your side :o) You're loved so much!
    It must have been weird getting fitted for your wig, but you did it girl, and you will get used to it I'm sure :o) I can't wait to see what it looks like, or even just hear about it - is it like that original one you wanted?? I have a HUGE forehead too so I totally understand the fringe thing, lol! My head is like a huge easter egg, and a pasty one at that, at least you're more than pretty enough to carry off your fab new do ;-)
    Okay well I'm going to go and watch some sex and the city - honestly Hayls I have watched literally about 10 episodes today...that cannot be good for me LOL!!!
    Love you lots xxx

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  4. *~*littlebluestar*~*6 January 2008 at 06:43

    Oh, girl! I'm crying my eyes out!
    I'm so glad that you are so strong. You will get through this!

    ::Huge:Hugs::
    Your family is amazing!

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  5. Hi Hayley sweets, Hope you are feeling better,Sweets You are a very very special girl, one in zillions, like I say you are beautiful Inside and out.. and dont you worry about hair, they will grow back, I am very glad to know that you are feeling better then before and not getting out of breath, Sweets God willing You Will Totally Kick This cancer's arse.
    You have such Positive energy about you, and above all you are surrounded with a very loving and supporting family, We are all behind you in fighting this. You are making your mom and everyone in your family so very proud.
    And sweety its not a boring post at all, far from it, You have a gift with words, believe me you are an awesome writer... I am praying hard that the tumor has shrunk, you have all my prayers and best wishes.
    All the best for tomarrow,your dad is sending his love and warmest wishes.
    love.
    ammarah

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  6. Happy New Year Hayley!

    Glad to hear that the chemo seems to be working and that you can at least start to make yourself heard again. Every day is another step forwards. Some days the steps are just bigger than others.

    Just think of the wig as hair extensions - all the famous peeps are having them these days! ;-)

    Sending you positive vibes.

    Rosie
    x

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  7. Next time I come on I'm not going to read Cup's comment cos it always makes me cry.
    Anyway, you do look weird without your fringe. And now people are going to think I'm a bitch for saying that haha, but I've just never seen you without a fringe so it's different. Anyway, you are brave and when your hair is all grown back you can use the straighteners here before we go out again lol.
    Love you lots xxxxxxxxxx

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  8. hayley's little bro8 January 2008 at 20:43

    hi hay its your little bro here!!

    i think your coping really well and im proud of how you are dealing with this.

    im always here to annoy you when you are bored and doing nuffin lol!

    seriously,i am here for you.

    always here if you want someone to annoy aswell!

    love from ryan xoxoxoxo

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  9. Happy New Year

    Its fashionable to wear a wig - don't keep us in suspense let's see your new look.

    Cheryl x

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  10. Sarah & Rhianna8 January 2008 at 21:57

    Just stopping by to say we love ya x

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  11. a friend of mine who just finished radiation for a brain tumor says the same thing about how her scalp feels...cross between a sunburn and a pony tail being too tight....

    even bald I am usre you will still be beautiful!

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  12. Dear Hayley,
    I found my way to blog through a post that your mum left on The Oral Cancer Foundation Website. While I am saddened that this disease has struck you at such a young age, I must say I am utterly amazed by your strength and poise. Your positve attitude is going to serve you well as you continue through your treatments. You just keep thinking of all the things you are going to do when you are cured!! I am 7 months out from chemo and radiation for tonsil cancer and I want you to know that there is life after treatment is completed. I have a website journalling my treatments, and if you care to read it(it's NOT another scary story)send an email to me and I will direct you to it.
    God Bless You, Hayley
    Teresa

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  13. Hi sweetheart,

    I can honestly say that when I first looked at your picture all I could see was that beautiful smile and face, that's what really stood out .I didn't notice anything else until you pointed it out. ( Yes I read the title too).

    I'm glad you managed to get a wig that looks good and your mum was there to help. I know this must be really difficult for you and I truly feel for you. Your hair WILL grow back in no time hun.

    I got teary when I read your mum's post too,not out of sadness ,but because of the total love and admiration she has for you.

    I'm so glad your brother has posted too, that was really cool to read.

    Well I'd better go and walk that dog of mine LOL.

    Lots of Hugs and prayers,


    Shona.

    P.S. Tell your mum I'll borrow it after her to cover my ever growing grey hair too.

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  14. i want to see your wig. we can go wig shopping in joke stores :P lol.. /I am sure u look ravishing :P x

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  15. Hayley, your doing awesome! I think you will look quite chick in your wig. The thing is to own it when you put it on, let the world know your here to stay. Keep up your strength and making sure you get all your fluids. Your in my thoughts and prayers on the smoke. You have such a beautiful spirit and smile, I didn't even notice the hair. (Hugs) Indigo

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  16. Hayley, I was nominated for a 'You Make my Day' award which I'm passing on to you. From the comments left on your blog, you make so many people's days that I can't think of anyone more fitting to receive it.

    Copy the image from my link to your pc and then upload to your blog.

    Rosie.

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  17. Rosie directed me to your Blog Hayley, and I have to say that I am touched by your strength, determination and positive character.....

    Sending you healing hugs.....xx

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  18. Hi Hayley,

    I'm another one Rosie pointed you out to.

    You have the right attitude to deal with this, and you write so well about everything.

    I'm so glad you have such a good loving support system around you.

    Healing vibes coming your way.

    Kaz xx

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  19. Hi Hayley, another friend of Rosie's here. I just read your blog right from the start. Your doctor is right - you have such a great attitude and that is going to make such a big difference for you. Keep kicking!

    On the wig thing - wear it when you feel like it and not when you don't, simple as that. When my friend Julia had cancer and lost her hair, she wore hers most of the time but sometimes she just didn't feel like it and walked around bald. She looked great both ways and so will you.

    Sending healing vibes for you and all your family.

    Joanne x

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  20. Hi Hayley,
    You are an inspiration to all young people fighting cancer.Stay strong and hold onto your families love because it will help you pull through!!
    All my love and best wishes to you.
    Caroline(Dean's wife!)xxxx

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  21. Hey, I'm losing hair too. It's happening to everyone these days.
    Left a note at your Bloop Diary to let you know we're off to S. Africa for 6 weeks so don't expect lots of notes from me anytime soon!
    Back home March 1. Will write then.
    John
    Grungepappy at Bloop Diary

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  22. Well said and so strong......praying for you and thinking of you every day.

    Don't be put off re the wig and you do what you want to do.......a little rebellion is called for we think! Lots and lots of love from us allxxx

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  23. Hayley I just read your whole story( after Rosie pointed it out) you are one girl with ATTITUDE , but the right kind of it.
    You are a shining example for the lot of us .I'm just in awe about your strength and positive way and the ability to share it all.
    And I'm in awe of your mum , her strenght as I know it hurts so much to see your child ill and you cannot do anything about it..
    keep kicking girl

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  24. Hi Hayley! I found a link to you from Cheryl's blog and I had to leave a comment. Your attitude and positivity is amazing :) Lots of hugs xx

    Louise

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  25. Best of luck on this journey Hayley.

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

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  26. Hi Hayley, I hope you are doing ok, hope you got caught up on some rest after your CT scan, you looked as tired as you said you were! I am putting all of my love and energy into wishing that you have brilliant news on Thursday at your doctors appt. Take care of yourself. BIG love
    DNO The ONLY male X-Ray Receptionist! :-)

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  27. hello my darling,
    Did you get the package I sent yet?
    I was trying to find one of those clown wigs but no such luck,so I hope you like the bandanas. Email me when you have a chance.
    Love you lots
    Aunty Gina xxxxxx

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  28. Have you tried to wear wigs made of real human hair, Hayley? I have a friend who also has an illness that led to hair loss, and she told me that of all the wigs that she has worn, its her set of human hair wigs that feel the most natural for her. Well, I hope you find YOUR wig, Hayley. I'm wishing you all the best.

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