Thursday, 6 December 2007

5 ~ The one where Hayley was woken up

Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin

I look so rough in that picture, lol. It's because I've been sleeping really badly lately, even though I only had 2/3 hours sleep the night before last I still didn't get to sleep until 4:30am!

Ok, so this morning at 10:30am my mobile rang, it said private number so I knew it was Dr. Sandhu. But once it had registered in my head my phone was ringing in real life I missed the call, lol. The house phone then rang and Mum ran up the stairs and said it was for me.

Basically, Dr Sandhu said that all of the people looked at my ultrasound pictures and stuff. He then said that there's only two options of treatment because of the size of it, the first being removing my whole voice box which is something I REALLY do not want to happen. Then he said if I don't want that to happen then I will have to have chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I felt a bit rubbish hearing that but you know...hey ho! Get on with it. I'm glad that I had an option though, but if I did have my voice box removed I would of learnt to live with it.

Dr Sandhu was really nice on the phone saying he understands that I'm so young and that I probably didn't want to go with the first option. He then asked if I wanted him to tell my Mum, I said yes please because I was so tired and wanted more sleep! Haha.

I did have a little think about my options and I decided that I want the chemotherapy and radiotherapy and if that doesn't work (but hopefully it will!) then the voice box removal will have to take place. But like I said, HOPEFULLY the treatment will work and it wont come to that.

My Mum then told me that she had pestered the Hospital to get me an appointment so we had to be at St Peter's Hospital at 1:30pm to meet with Mr. Pace-Balzan to talk about my options and give my decision. When I walked in to the room the first thing I saw was this big tray of metal tools and I was like "OMG What is he going to do to me?????" Lol. Luckily, they wern't used. Although the evil camera was used. But, he said I'll have to get used to it because it'll be happening at least once a month. Great! Lol. He spoke about the two options and said that if there was a better one to do then he would tell me but they both have the same chance at curing me.

Chemotherapy will be 5 days a week for 3 weeks, then a break, then back on again. And a few more times (I can't actually remember what he said lol) and then finishing up with radiotherapy. Treatment will finish in March/April time so it looks like I've got a rough 4/5 months ahead of me but it's nothing I can't handle. I'm a tough bird, haha.

Tomorrow I have an appoitment at 9am (I always get the early appointments!) with Mr...something beginning with T. At Broomfield Hospital. He's the specialist in chemotherapy (not sure about radiotherapy) so I have plenty of questions to ask him! They're looking at starting treatment next week, maybe the week after! I'm not really looking forward to it but I've got my great friends and family to support me and I'm sure they'll try and make me have fun whilst I'm sat there with a drip in my arm lol.

So I will probably update again tomorrow when I get back from my appointment. I might aswell live in the Hospital for a while cos it seems I'm at one everyday!

Thanks for all your nice comments, I really do love reading them.

P.S My dog's cute isn't she? --->


  1. heya. well its damn shitty but yeah i know how much u dnt want ur voice box out, even though i though the white boards was a cool idea. we can draw pics and guess what the others trying t say? lol.. SIGN LANGUAGE ALL THE WAY BABY!! :P .. ull be fine. you are a very strong willed person and so brave i have every bit of faith in you and u know ill always be here for you. only a knock away.. or a hammer on the wall. lol. xxx

  2. I am sooo PROUD of you darling daughter of mine!! Your strength is amazing...and like the Dr in London said, "those who are positive have better chances of getting through this"

    I know you will get through this.

    I am with you all the way...feel free to moan at me, demand, tell me off..oh do that anyway!!!

    Roll on treatment...this cancer needs kicking!

    Love you very much xxxx

  3. Aaah I love your Mum, she leaves such sweet comments :O) You are loved SO much! But then you knew that already!
    Well my deary, your options are laid out on the table now, and it seems to me you've made the right decision for YOU. So good luck and lots of prayers - I say one every night for you my love :o)
    I was thinking maybe I could write to you or something, so you have something to read when you're having your treatments, and something to do too! What do you think? Just an idea anyway. Anything I can do to help :o) And of course, it still stands that if you ever fancy a meet-up then let's do it!
    Ok well my messages tend to be so rambly don't they?! You just keep kicking arse, as you are doing so well - You still remain Hayley, happy and chirpy, and not a victim at all - this is just an obstacle for you to overcome, and you WILL!
    Love you millions!

  4. I can't get over how positive and strong you're being. I would be in pieces lol yes your dog is indeed cute =) x

  5. Hey, you want to see me when I look rough. I mean, when I look rough I really do look ROUGH. Come to think of it, even when I'm not rough there doesn't seem to be much difference! LOL
    Your mum is amazing. Now I can see where you get it from. :)
    I always get early appointments too. But I don't mind. It helps to get my lazy ass out of bed in the morning. haha!

  6. Hey there my little niece, I've been keeping up to date with your progress and have to say your commentary is very entertaining! You have some very nice friends, I've been reading their messages as well. I'm sorry to hear you have to go for the chemo although as you say at least it still is a choice: albeit a crap one. You have this ability to make everything seem so matter of fact and very simple.
    I believe your greatest strength is your attitude, I don't think I have ever seen you so focussed & determined. It really is a lesson for us all! I hope we can get together before your treatment starts as I know Ella is keen to see you. Well, I'm gonna work out how to post this message now as I'm a blogging virgin! Get lots of rest, eat well and know that we love you very much doll face. Love Auntie Liesa XXxx

  7. Hey Hayley, You have chosen a good opion for yourself, considering the doctor said they both have same chance of curing you, Sweets i have no doubt in my mind that you are going to Beat this cancer and will be cured of it, i do understand that its a tough road ahead of you, but knowing you now Hayley, i am every bit confident that it won't stop you from overcoming this and coming out all well and good, God willing. You are such a strong girl no wonder your mom is so very proud of you..:)
    You have a very loving family and awesome friends right behind you, Supporting you every step of the way.
    You kmow that you are in my prayers, Your dad and I love u and care for you very much... We are here for you Hayley remember that...Wish you all the very best ..
    love u loads
    take good care,
    p.s : Hope you got my mail, i mailed it on your aol account.

  8. hi sweetie..lyn from florida again...just wanted to say hello and tell you that you are beautiful and so is your dog ;-)
    have a good good to yourself...

  9. Cute dog. Cute girl. I bet you'd be adorable in hats -- you just seem to have th right kind if face for them.

    darcy (Matt's Mom)

  10. Aw, Hayley. I'm sorry :[ I can totally understand that you would not want your voice box to be taken out! It's pretty crap that you have to go through this. I really wish you didn't. You don't deserve it. I know I don't know you very well, but I wouldn't wish cancer on my worst enemy. Anyway, you seem like a strong person so I know you will do great and come through the treatment with flying colours. =]

  11. I wish I looked like you when I was feeling rough! lol your dog is gorgeous! Linda x x