Wednesday, 5 December 2007

4 ~ The one where Hayley went to the Hospital in London

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." ~Marie Curie

Hello everyone.

So, today was my Hospital appointment at Charing Cross Hospital in London. I had to get up at 6:30am but I've got in to a weird sleeping routine so I didn't fall asleep until 4:30/5am so I was so tired - I slept for one, maybe two hours in the car so I'm so tired!

We left the house at 7am and got to the Hospital at about 10am (Appointment was at 10:30am), had to wait for a little while and then Mr Sandhu called me in. He was really nice. I liked him! He asked me the story of what happened and how I found out about the cancer so I explained and he then asked what I knew about what was going on. So I told him I knew I had cancer and that the tumour wasn't attached to anything skeletal. He said that is wasn't attached to the skeletal part but was attached to cartilage. He then asked to look down my throat with that evil camera thing, great! He numbed my throat but it didn't actually start going numb until he had finished, lol. Oh wasn't that bad. It just feels horrible when it gets to the top of your nose and then goes down the back of your throat.

Dr Sandhu then asked me if I knew anything about 'T grading', I had no idea! So he explained that my cancer is T grade 3 or possibly T grade 4. Which isn't GREAT news but you know...I'll deal with it and beat it. He said that they can't remove the tumour with laser surgery because the cancer is too advanced and seems that it started growing from inside the cartilage and that radiotherapy will probably be for the best - tomorrow loads of Dr's are having a meeting about what they think is best but he seems to think that radiotherapy is. It'll be 5 days a week for 4-6 weeks. He said I'll have some side effects but again...I'll deal with them. Dr Sandhu is going to phone me tomorrow afternoon and tell me the decision and hopefully we wont have to go all the way back up to London again cos it was missions lol.

He then said he wanted me to go for an ultrasound on my throat but he couldn't get hold of the man, but as we were leaving the Hospital to go home he phoned me and said that I could go for an ultrasound there and then. We went up to the ward and the man who was meant to do it wasn't going to be there until 2pm! It was about 11:30am then so we had ages to wait, we all went and got some lunch and sat in the car.

Went back for my ultrasound, the man who did it was a student at one of the local Hospitals so he knew how far we'd travelled! He was really nice too. I have this weird thing about people touching my neck, or even me touching my neck but obviously I'll have to get over that fear/phobia lol. He was pressing my neck quite heavily and it wasn't too pleasent but I did it, wohoo! Haha. He asked me loads of questions and asked if I'd ever had a trauma to my neck and I really couldn't think of anything...apart from when my little Brother tried to strangle me once and it really hurt my neck but surely it wasn't hard enough to cause cancer lol.

My vocal chords are still working...well one side more than the right so Dr Sandhu said that I should get my voice back eventually. It might be husky still but I don't care - I can't wait to get my voice back. I miss it so much, never thought I'd hear myself say that seeing as I used to hate it!

I can't really remember anything else specific about what went on...I'll know more tomorrow afternoon when he phones me so I might update again then. Mum, if I've missed anything out let me know! Lol. I really need to start taking a dictaphone in with me.

If anyone has any questions they want to ask me, go ahead. I'll answer them and post them in the next blog.

Thank you everybody for your lovely comments, I love getting them! They always make me smile.

I think I'm going to get some sleep now as I'm so sleepy.




  1. It's a real shame it's too late for the laser surgery but radiotheraphy is meant to have really good results too right? I'm sure everything will be fine, it's good the doctors are working really fast with this x

  2. I just wanted to cry while i read this.
    I think i get really emotional after i have been drinking, lol.
    It takes you 3 hours to get to the hospital you have to go to all the time?
    Love you
    x x

  3. I love your positivity Hayley.
    It is a shame it's too advanced for laser surgery but you know..whatever they throw at you you'll get through it.
    Love you, here if you need me xx

  4. Oh, Hayley. That's too bad that you can't have the laser surgery. But I hope that the radiotherapy goes well, and I hope that your side effects are only mild ones. Keep up the positive attitude! *hugs*

  5. Hey Hayley sweets, I am so disappointed that its late for laser surgery, but sweets its not late for you to BEAT it COMPLETELY, God Willing radiotherpy will work and you will be cure of this once and for all, I am praying really hard for you, not only me your family, your friends, your well wishers all are behind you, and when you have so many prayers plus Good doctors and to top it off Your Postive attitude, Your Strength nothing can stop you from KICKING cancer's Arse real Good.
    I am sorry you had to travel so much and wasn't able to sleep, hope you will get some good rest now.
    Your dad and me are here for you Hayley, all the way. We have full faith that God willing you will get through this and live a very long Fulfilling happy life..:)
    Love u loads.
    Take good care.

  6. Was this written before your Bloop Diary entry? It's just that there you mention removal of the voice box as a possible alternative.
    Keep smiling and stay cheerful and positive, hon. Attitude plays a big part in these things.
    John aka Grungepappy

  7. It's too bad they can't do the laser surgery, but I know you'll beat this. We're all here for you hun.

  8. hey goat. sucks about the lazer surgery.. im just gld it is not attached to any skeletal parts :P xx

  9. Hey hayley yet another comment from me. Really glad your appointment went well and loving how you staying so strong and positive.. I know what its like to wait for the Drs to decide whats best they had my meeting yesterday so I am just waiting for the operation now and hopefully that should be enough.Thankyou for your posts on macmillan your positivity makes me feel stronger and gives me hope we will kick cancers arse much love Vikki xxx

  10. Hi Hayley glad to hear all went well at hospital today, I know what its like waiting for the news from the meetings the drs have I had mine yesterday and got the call last night im going in for my op soon they dont have reason to believe it has gone to lymph nodes and would be shocked to find that had happend which is giving me some sigh of relief but I will keep you posted thank you for your postings on macmillan.. I admire your positivity and how brave you are you give me hope and im looking to the positive sides now much love going to go bed cause no doubt i'll be awake at 4am again lol xx

  11. Hi Hayley, I'm sorry they weren't able to do the laser surgery but you'll get through the radiotherapy, you are so positive.

    My other cousins husband ( he's 40 ish) has just gone through the radiotherapy part as he has a tumour in his oesophegus. Apparently it worked really, really well and he'll be having surgery to remove what's left anyday now.

    You'll get throught his sweetheart, you're a fighter and God is by your side to win this one.

    Lots of hugs and rainbow kisses


  12. Good luck to you Hayley.

    I have just finished the same treatment you are about to undertake although I am 30 years older.

    You have a wonderful attitude. Keep it up!!!

    You are embarking on a tough journey but you will beat it.

    And don't be afraid of the radiotherapy mask you just close your eyes and find 'your place@ in your head and go there.

    Keep your chin up.

  13. you must be knackered! and still so how do you do it! Linda x x